Navigating Emotional Boundaries as an Empath
The insignificance of my internal weakness is overshadowed by the strength others perceive in my empathic ability. I have always been a strong friend, daughter, and individual. However, people often misunderstand my ability to empathize with others. They assume that since I can deeply understand and relate to others, I can handle anything that comes my way. The truth is, being an empath means constantly absorbing and taking on the emotions of others, often to the point of exhaustion. Until authentic empaths step forward and share what it really means to feel this way every day, the perception of what it means to be an empath will continue to be misunderstood.
The problem is that everyone is an empath—or so it seems. Nowadays, many people consider themselves empaths. This claim of empathic ability is likely due to the growing interest in spirituality, the urge to confront your healing journey out loud, and the desire to address emotional issues that the older generation may have ignored. However, it's important to note that having a brief experience in therapy which leads to heightened self-awareness or a spiritual retreat doesn't necessarily mean that one possesses raw psychic abilities. In fact, only a tiny percentage of people are born with such innate skills.
Many social media influencers, yoga enthusiasts, spiritual tourists, and newcomers to the spiritual journey, have misunderstood the true nature of intuitive abilities. In millennial culture, these abilities are often idolized and seen as a means to gain authority over others. However, in reality, intuitive gifts are meant to be used to serve others and the greater good. This includes being an empath, which is just one form of intuitive ability. It is important to understand that these gifts are not meant to be used for personal gain or control over others, but rather as a means to help and heal. Remember, intuitive abilities are offered to souls incarnating on Earth for service to others and for the purpose of learning through the gift itself.
Do you ever feel like you can sense the emotions of others as if they were your own?
If so, you might be an empath – gifted with the amazing ability to understand and feel the emotions of others. However, this gift can also be a curse because it can be overwhelming and emotionally draining. Empaths often struggle with setting emotional boundaries because of their sensitivity. When they come in close contact with others, those people tend to overshare their personal and often traumatic life events. While empaths may feel discomfort or confusion about this information, they also feel an overwhelming urge to help or rescue the person sharing their experience. Unfortunately, this connection can leave empaths feeling deprioritized as a person. They have a deep understanding of another’s emotional pain, but the oversharing ill-positions them to put up boundaries without making the other person feel bad, emotions they will ultimately feel themselves. This emotional conundrum often prevents empaths from speaking for themselves and places them in an eternal rescue loop that creates mental health issues and self-loathing. These emotional exchanges happen daily, not only with strangers but also within the empath’s friend circles and familial connections. So, it's essential to recognize this gift and learn to set healthy emotional boundaries. This way, empaths can continue to use their gift to help others without sacrificing their own emotional and mental well-being.
Though the Age of Aquarius has armed us all with an abundance of information available about spiritual awakenings and possessing spiritual gifts, many true empaths are unaware of their abilities due to a few reasons. Firstly, empaths are born with this gift and cannot learn the ability to feel another person’s emotions as their own. Many empaths have been absorbing emotions, problem-solving and supporting the underdogs in their lives for their entire existence. However, this gift is not something that an empath has ever been separated from, even if they did not have the language or term "empath" in their vocabulary. It is due to this lack of deeper self-awareness and the ability to articulate who they are that many empaths do not see their ability as a gift, but as something that makes them feel unimportant as they save others, and often left to deal with their own emotional and physical struggles alone. Like many empaths, my earliest childhood memories are of me being alone, showing signs of responsibility and independence at a young age. I frequently sought to help others, even when I was not mature enough to understand the full extent of the solution, and the impact it had on others. However, what I did understand was that simply knowing about an issue for practically anyone made me feel overcome by the need to help. This feeling became relentless until I could contribute in some way.
One major realization I had was that being an empath was a permanent aspect of my identity and had a significant role in my life. However, I learned that constantly rescuing everyone in my personal life led to exhaustion and left me feeling unworthy due to the energetic battles it brought. Instead, I found that utilizing my empathic abilities in my professional life and service roles was ultimately more fulfilling. Many empaths are naturally drawn to professions where they can be in service to others such as the healthcare industry, public service, and industries in which are helping someone process an emotional aspect of their life. In these settings, empaths are better able to have clarity in exactly what they need to do and there is a definitive start and stop time. On the contrary in personal situations an emotionally charged problem with a friend or family member can go on endlessly which can cause the empath to feel emotionally drained and always used. As an empath, it is important to establish boundaries that help you protect yourself from being overwhelmed by other people's emotions. The first step towards setting these boundaries is to become self-aware. This involves gaining a deep understanding of your own emotions, needs, and limits. By paying attention to your inner landscape and recognizing the signs of emotional overload, you can identify when it is necessary to establish boundaries. This way, you can prevent yourself from getting absorbed by other people's emotions.
As an empath, it is crucial to establish emotional boundaries, which involve distinguishing between your emotions and the emotions of others. Empaths can sense the feelings of others as if they were their own, regardless of whether they are in the person's presence. The ability to discern this gift comes with intuitive development. Many empaths are conflicted about getting guidance through their ability relative to fears about working with the unseen and the fear that opening the door any wider to the spiritual world will be more overwhelming that what already exists within them. Contrarily, by gaining a deeper understanding of empathy and boosting confidence, empaths can set emotional boundaries and achieve a new level of spiritual awakening. Those who possess the gift of empathy always have other spiritual abilities such as clairaudience or claircognizance, and they present intensely creative skills that help to ground them. However, some empaths may have stronger gifts in specific areas and rely on them more than other less-developed abilities. In gaining clarity as an empath, clear boundaries can be established with yourself and others to promote healthier connections and self-preservation.
Empaths possess an extraordinary ability to empathize with others. However, they need to prioritize their self-preservation. Empaths often find themselves in toxic romantic relationships where they feel obliged to rescue their partner, who might be going through a tough time or feeling lost. The longing for love and to be seen can cause the empath to feel obligated to rescue their partner continuously. The outcome of such "rescue relationships" is always the same:
The partner improves.
Their life gets better.
As it does, the attraction to the empath weakens.
However, this is not about fault but intention and energy. The partner only wanted help, and the empath believed their partner genuinely loved and appreciated them for who they were, not just what they could do to enhance their life. Sadly, without the ability to discern their emotions as an empath or the skill to set clear boundaries, many empaths get stuck in the cycle of rescue relationships with friends and romantic partners until they learn that articulating boundaries to others, whether verbally or nonverbally, is necessary to establish mutual respect and understanding in relationships. This boundary setting may involve expressing your needs directly, asserting yourself when boundaries are crossed, and advocating for your emotional well-being without guilt or apology.
Establishing emotional boundaries is challenging and requires consistent practice to reduce guilt and inner conflicts over time. Empaths can empower themselves by recognizing the importance of stronger emotional boundaries and setting small daily intentions to incorporate them into their routine.
A simple daily mantra could be, "I am worthy of respect, and I choose to prioritize my emotional well-being."
As the mind leads the way, changing one's mindset is the primary effort involved in creating effective boundaries. Boundaries should create a supportive environment for authentic connections and mutual respect rather than building walls or excluding others. Boundaries are a powerful discernment that helps you understand who is there for you and who is there only to gain the emotional support that empaths offer naturally through energy.
Empaths require emotional boundaries to navigate the intricacies of human emotions and to reflect the self-love they possess. By being self-aware, communicating effectively, and prioritizing self-care, empaths can establish boundaries that safeguard their emotional well-being, deepen their connections with others, and regulate the gift of empathy itself. When we respect our own needs and limitations, we empower ourselves to view empathy as a gift rather than a burden. This enables us to thrive as compassionate and resilient people in a world that desperately needs more empathy.
No empath I have ever met has realized proper balance without setting emotional boundaries with their potential partners, friends, and family. Boundaries were key to finding my self-worth and finally being able to regard the gift of empathy as a blessing. There is no beauty in feeling everything 24/7. But when you can connect with others and offer them guidance, support, or a listening ear, and they feel seen and deeply understood, it can make all the difference in how you perceive yourself. Setting emotional boundaries will take courage. But as I always say, courage is the reward for leaping in fear. The life you seek is available to you, but you must trust that there is a divine plan for your gift. And remember, you are stronger than you feel right now.
Ready to unlock the full potential of your intuition? If you're an empath seeking to deepen your connection with your inner wisdom, let's embark on a journey of intuition development together.