The Overwhelm of Empathy in Organizations
I don't know how we have gone wrong in simultaneously making empathy the number one leadership skill to have and grossly misdefining it in one deft swoop. But, welcome to the creative economy where we can make it up as we go along as long as it provides the social gains.
Right now, we are faced with many complex social justice issues, and the culture is trying to adjust to the impact of the long winding pandemic, and the solution has been to seemingly slap on the empathy bandaid. But, I wonder, as the cause of empathy became important, did we stop and consider what we knew about it? Like, where was empathy as an emotional concept before we made it a necessary leadership skill? Because one thing big-box organizations don't seem to mind overlooking is that it already existed. It existed on an independent plane of truth, and it didn't need the world to make it cool.
Emotional intelligence has been a popular term since the 90s. But what happened in 2020 as Derek Chauvin pressed his knee on George Floyd's neck for over 8 minutes was that the world found out empathy and emotional intelligence were not generally reserved for people of color. Ironically, that is common knowledge within black and brown communities and regarded as a lived experience.
But suddenly, as we witnessed the most tragic moment of 2020 aside from Covid-19, the instant global guilt started throwing money are every type of organization available. There was a spike in the need for healing services, books on racism were conveniently sold out, and just like that, empathy as a leadership skill was trending.
What's interesting is that miraculously "leadership" in organizations were responsible for possessing empathy as a skill. Organizational culture, as a norm, had never prioritized emotions in the workplace as it has an environment primarily sterile and unsympathetic. I mean, let's just cut to the chase here, organizational culture trying its hardest with empathy to resemble a genuine emotion, but it doesn't. The only thing that has changed is now organizations are being forced to say the word. And that often translates into becoming more sustainable, perhaps getting a shiny new B-Corp certification, but what is happening when dealing with basic human emotions?
You know, and I know, the answer is not much.
If organizational empathy resembled anything decent and acceptable, we wouldn't be fighting tooth and nail for some of our most necessities in the corporate space. Such as diversity, equity, and inclusion, paid maternity/paternity leave, and a slice of a reasonable work-life balance that allowed the human to be the priority. If empathy was legitimized organizationally, would The Great Resignation even be a thing? The truth is it has not been the goal of organizations for humans to be the priority, nor will it ever be. The emphasis is revenue growth at the expense of the human employee, and therefore there is no urgent call for empathy or emotional clarity. So the CEOs and the lovely people that sit on the boards get to make all the calls that do not affect them while they maintain access to, well, everything.
Honestly, this is a loaded topic. There is no way to briefly describe all that is wrong with how we show up for each other as humans in 1500 words. But, what can be highlighted are three observations I have made while working with organizational creatives through guidance.
We haven't adequately defined empathy and the possibilities in correctly expressing empathy in the organizational culture.
We say we don't like to be messy at work. Truthfully, anywhere you must trade hours of your existence for a stack of pennies, or a big mound of money will get messy. That is why there is no genuine empathy that exists. The nature of work in the way we experience it is the epitome of messy. We give more of ourselves than we will ever get a return on at work. In that way, we are all operating on some level of lack and survival mode.
Look, I won't waste your time telling you about all the intellectual idiots I have spoken with over the years about the importance of emotional clarity in the organizational space; I expect to do so will elicit the same boredom I experience with those conversations. So instead, I will share bits you might find interesting from my last two organizational meetings.
First, I had a riveting conversation with a psychologist turned AI Empathy Innovator. It is a fancy title for someone who will aid and abet corporations into faking empathy through an app that will help their communications appear more empathetic. Before I go further…yes, this is where we are.
Instead of doing the work of being human, big-box organizations find it more appealing and simply easier to invest in the technology of empathy in an attempt to outsmart the ego rather than try their hand and being human and discovering soulfulness within. The AI tech lady's exact words were, "corporations don't want to do the work." So how can we expect to properly define empathy if we are not even willing to consider it seriously? The consensus is that we would instead look like we understand each other through email but are okay to still remain detached on Zoom and in-person meetings.
2. We are designating the wrong people to oversee our emotional landscape.
Imagine we deeply understood the concept of empathy intuitively; who would be the best person to address your emotions at work? Think about it. When discussing empathy, I spoke to a pretty well-known CEO in the creative agency space last month; he thought being empathic was a skill that Managing Directors could learn to incorporate in their daily connections with creatives they manage. Now, I am not here to say that all mortals couldn't learn to be better toward each other. Indeed, we can adapt more empathetic ways of being, but you don't just become an empath.
The real problem is that these Managing Directors are often the folks who create a lot of drama and trauma in the workplace, no?
When I think about the blowback from proposing to normalize emotional clarity through empathy with an intuitive approach within the organizational culture, most people will deem it a lost cause. Not everyone is intentional about creating a space to honor others in their interactions. Unfortunately, we often never appreciate the simple solutions to managing people and their energy. The corporate environment presents a complete mishandling of the soul, where the ego's motives are empowered and are positioned front and center. The is where the trauma begins. Trauma emerges where there is no honor. No honor of the soul is typical in an organizational setting: thus making the emotions irrelevant and chipping away at the inner child by banishing autonomy and, therefore, authentic creation. The weak sense of security destroys our most lighthearted qualities as we gain resources through earning money to secure life's necessities. There are deadlines, massive external pressures, and the anxiety of the desire to be validated in business. Much of that flows through the Managing/Creative Directors of the creative industry structure. And if that's the case, how in the world would those positions be the best fit to handle the delicate nature of our emotional landscape? Would empathy then come with a biased approach? Probably.
And these questions explain why organizations do not want to touch empathy. Empathy is difficult even to discuss without introducing a host of personal limiting beliefs, disregard for natural human emotions, and why we end up at silly retreats talking about things that will have little impact. We would get more out of a day on the couch watching old episodes of Super Soul Sunday when considering the tried and true.
3. Organizations don't know how to make empathy personal.
Speaking of the soul, organizations generally do not know how to make empathy personal. But also, they don't want to do so. From a corporate perspective, it is easier for them to require the same empathy training from everyone and have Human Resources send out annoying emails to remind you that you still haven't completed your online empathy course. Emotional clarity is not intended as a part of personal or professional development but a quiet matter for a therapist. The average organization doesn't care about how you feel about anything, and most never will. I recently spoke with a client about her apprehension about being forced to take the COVID-19 vaccination as a work requirement, which is significant. See, it's easy to argue that we don't need to deal with emotions when discussing the deals and serve the clients because the organization will always be on the side of the money. But we need a profoundly intuitive approach at work because we are increasingly forced to make real-life decisions that affect our health and our families to keep bringing in resources. Someone at work has to be qualified and willing to engage with people on a highly personal level when we are forcing everyday office workers to work in now hazardous conditions and accept vaccinations whether personal belief systems support it or not.
Generalized learning methods are not where we are as a culture anymore, but our widespread cultural beliefs about health and well-being have evolved and stayed in pace with the digital age and new age perspectives. It should be expected that our workplace beliefs evolve and not reflect our grandparents' views about work and personal development. Empathy is a leadership skill that will only be effective if we consider it to our individual experiences. In standardized team building methodology, we only consider what should be appropriate in the eyes of the current trending workshop facilitator or author from which we borrow ideas. To attain a deeper connection at work, we don't need social media celebrities or clout chasers; organizations desperately need those with a genuine ability to guide with empathy. To grow soulfully, we must inherit empathy as we experience life. We must not pretend we understand when we have no personal emotional reference. But when we can deeply understand our own experiences through guided discovery, we expand in ways that allow vulnerability to seep into our circumstances intentionally and with ease.
Until the needs of the employees are heard and received when it comes to empathy, work-life balance, and emotional clarity at work, the organizational culture will continue to fake it until it makes it. As a result, organizations will continue to see mass departures and experience overwhelm as they create further emotional dissonance through tone deaf team building and emotionally silencing employees.
If you are considering an intuitive approach to empathy at work, schedule a session.
In the meantime, check out these episodes of my latest podcast:
‘Rona Realness: Exploring the Organizational Response to COVID-19