A lesson from my nephew

Every day is a new day here. No day is in the absence of a lesson or more profound understanding. Lessons come with much frustration, pain, and often confusion before you arrive at knowledge. Nonetheless, understanding is essential to growth. And, growth is the point of the journey.

Currently, I find myself right in the midst of planning a significant event for my daughter and managing working responsibilities, and always juggling being a wife and a mother. 

Today, I observed my nephew greet his mother first thing this morning. I don’t know why such a simple thing amazed me. But, it was clear that he had just come out of his room and had not been long waking. He came and took his mother’s hand and kissed her on both cheeks and asked her how she was and how her day had been so far.  My nephew is Matisse, or what we may call biracial in America. His father is French and his mother Senegalese. So some might argue his greeting cultural, but to know his mother and his father is to see this greeting was filled more with respect than with culture. 

I remembered my brother at that moment. And, I thought of how he might greet my mother. I thought of how you might teach a child to have such deep respect for a parent and still be approachable. I wondered if it was even necessary as a parent to be approachable or if respect is the important thing, the ultimate sign of a successful parent, for their child to respect them. 

I thought of my moments of frustration in Senegal. Just this morning I was fussing about the time it is taking to get internet at the house so we could through that hotspot in the Atlantic. I was telling my husband how irritated I was that our landlord was making it hard for us to pay him rent because he won’t accept PayPal. 

However, right now I can see how trivial those things are. I understand that if I don’t learn anything else today, or ever, I realize that what I teach my daughter in each interaction I have with her matters.  It matters because I want her respect, more than I need her approval. 

To earn her respect, I must honor our soul contract. She must learn from me as her guide in this stage of her life, and later she will become mine.  This is the nature of this relationship, this much is clear.  

Respect, guidance, clarity, will serve as my words for the day.