Growth is not what you think it is. When people think about change, they always think of the outcome of desire, a place beyond the inevitable struggle that makes growth available. Everyone loves to hate Mercury Retrograde for apparent reasons. People that don't even follow astrology know and understand the dangers of the planet Mercury slowing down. And, at first, I wasn't quite sure why it felt so hard this time around. The most recent Retrograde was the second in this calendar year, and it's been a doozy.

Though in retrospect (exactly what Retrograde is designed to do), I realize that I was pretty physically stagnant at the beginning of the year, about ten months into the pandemic. At this time, the world had only begun to consider hopefulness after months of lockdown and mandatory quarantines. This time was the pre- vax period, where folks were more cautious. But, as spring came and went and vaccinations became widespread, the summer began calling us outside and into the thick of things. As we started to move, retrograde descended upon us, and things started moving slowly; for me, the silence of all things expected sent me into a bit of anxiety.

For context, I was also attempting to move my entire family halfway across the country. Despite our arrival being right on the cusp of retrograde, we were not safe from the delays that had begun in the pre- retrograde shadow, and the perils of attachment set it.

I've had many group sessions where the topic of attachment is the center of the conversation. I have easily claimed my denial of being attached. Still, when I tell you that not having my furniture and my most cherished possessions (my channeled messages in my journals) for the better part of two weeks, all sense of normalcy flew out of the window. I noticed that I was still attached to the rhythm of our household and to the things that help me feel connected to success. It was a stark revelation. 

I was downright desperate to understand the logistics at many points, the route of where I could find the things most important to me. But I realized over those days that nothing that I thought I needed was available to me. Honestly, that was a hard truth to swallow, but after reflection, it became this:  everything that I need is already present.  And more importantly, the emotional attachment to mostly sentimental value was not going to propel me forward. It was a stark reminder that overconsumption is a thing, and not just in the typical sense of greed, but we overconsume emotionally as well. 

The space between change and growth creates a fragile being. This uncertainty is why people don't want to change anything. There's not simply the fear of what you become, and certainly not anticipating a realized state of elevation but the space in between is murky. Our superficial state of ego trains us to deny the act of a willful sacrifice. We assign suffering and pain to the state of surrender. But in submission, we have the most to gain spirituality. Our spiritual growth depends on letting go while present on the Earth, releasing willingness before we are forced to shed our body and take on a new form. 

Who will you be without the physical connection to the Earth?

All of the hard questions started to rise to the surface during my transition period, and if it finally came to me: without a physical connection to the Earth, you will still be just who you are. This realization was the bridge in deepening my relationship to my higher consciousness. In the desperation of loss, you are forced to remember what is real in the absence of the physical reminder of a single truth. The suffering helps you to recall the experience of what is, what was, and what remains. Attachment can never activate consciousness, for distraction is powerful. In distraction, you can recognize and conceptualize only what you can seen and that leaves the vastness of the unseen restless and inaccessible. The only truth to realize is in the unseen. Everything exposed in reality is because of the culmination of what is at play in the unseen world, whether directly or indirectly connected to you. This is why the elements and the planets play such an important role not only in the atmosphere but relative to your energy. Cosmic awareness is critical to the connection to All That Is, for if we do not include the knowledge of the environment, then we remain blind to our perceived consciousness or ego.  

Balance in environmental shifts is only achieved with stillness. The environment in which you reside is constantly in motion, whether you are actively moving or not. To deepen your connection or grow, stillness is required. Retrograde is the force of the silence from the environment. Thereby, Retrograde represents the necessity of growth as a consciousness every season of the year. Humanity does not realize the need for change until there is a lack that enters the consciousness. In lack, the reflection of the self is undesirable and therefore seeks a higher connection than an earthly connection. In seeking higher through stationary periods, awareness is created, and transcendental messages are received by those who are receptive to them. 

When you are not available for acceptance in cosmic shifts, you remain susceptible to lower vibrational energies and waning of intuitive connection. Awareness must be fed to be sustained. Though the first cosmic law teaches us that you can never return to a previous state of awareness, but you must feed your consciousness to evolve. Evolution can only occur through movement, and for humanity, that means making changes that create an elevation of the mental plane and the spiritual plane. There will be experiences that invite growth every season of the incarnation, whether in your circumstances or through environmental shifts. And it is the responsibility of each soul to tap in and shift or remain at the current state of awareness and apply only the current conscious state to every circumstance naturally occurring to them. As a result, the mind breaks down because it is no longer seeking to be challenged or to experience more than what has already been realized. This phase of incarnation is when the soul's return is near. 

In the return, there is only preparation for collective recollection of what has already occurred, not what is desired. The growth stages in each incarnation are linear. There is only a specific stage that the soul is seeking at any given point in the soul's destination. In the return, there is only peace. 

Hopefully, you will find a soft landing on the other side of Mercury's post retrograde shadow. And, if you would like to get clarity on purpose right now and a sharper sense of where you still may be attached, schedule a session with me.