Life of an Empath

View Original

3 Tell Tale Signs of Empathy Black Empaths Often Miss

Black empaths miss some of the most telling signs of the gift of empathy, and it's unfortunate. Truly unfortunate to the soul growth of my brothers and sisters. Sadly, it is our parents and society that keeps us from feeling supported in our spiritual gifts. We are unsupported, and that has been passed down through the generations. Funny thing is we are passing down separation from our culture, and that separation did not originate from us. So, in essence, we are paying forward the spirit of staying in our place—the energy of being less than. 

Fortunately, more black empaths are coming into their own with their empathic ability. They are beginning to understand more about the gift and its attributes. More and more black empaths utilize the Internet and search for what has been written about the gift to see if it really applies to them—even using suggested techniques for grounding and how to manage the gift. And, this is a start. More of a beginning than I had when I realized I had a gift. The Internet was still unknown back then, and smartphones were still in labs and wouldn't be released for quite some time. Ok, I have said too much about the dinosaur I am becoming! My point is I didn't have those resources, and in retrospect, that's okay. It's okay because no matter what you read on the Internet about empathy, everyone does not experience it in the same way. And a lot of the articles are based on other resources, and it becomes one pile of recycled scientific spiel when we are talking about a spiritual gift. Not too mention that many people have deemed themselves an empath, and they are indeed not. Sensitivity or sensing vibes is not the same as being an empath.

My empathic realization started in childhood; I knew there was something different about me. When I talk about my journey now, I refer to it as "my different."

Different 

If you're an empath, you're different. You just are. Tragically, many black empaths don't even consider the possibility of a spiritual gift. But they know they are different. "I know I'm different." That's what I hear a lot of black empaths saying when they finally come out with their spiritual gifts. Honestly, I had always known I was different too. But, knowing I was different and telling anyone else was not an option. As much as I knew I was different, I couldn't explain. I didn't realize that the feelings I was having meant anything. What could it possibly mean? I was peculiar in many ways, especially if you believe my mother's version of my childhood. Growing up in North Alabama in the 80s as an introvert wasn't the norm at all. Perhaps, girls expected to be pleasing is a universal theme among women. However, that expectation is intensified in a small southern town. Let my mother tell me I wasn't friendly.

Well, maybe, I wasn't. All I knew was when people got too close to me, or groups of people were near; it made me anxious. It made me feel things, and I wouldn't say I liked it. Of course, my mother didn't understand; not only is she the world's most notorious extrovert, but she was also very well known. Everywhere we went growing up, and even now, it's like a never-ending meet and greets. From the gas station to Target, and the nail salon, she always had to be in the spotlight. A local celebrity. I wasn't interested in any part of that, so of course, I was different. 

I stood out in other ways, as well. I was practically obsessed with psychic kids as a child. I would watch anything I could find about it or magic. 


"Empaths are built to rescue others in need."




Rescue as a Life Theme

While playing the role of being different, I missed how much crap I was accepting along the way in my relationships. Despite having this in-depth knowledge about many things, I was always attracting the wrong type of partner and often friendships. It took years to realize that it wasn't necessarily that I had "stupid" tattoed on my forehead, as a sign for the men in my life to show up know instantly they could take advantage of me. But, what I did have was a weakness for those that needed help. Empaths are built to rescue others in need. It doesn't matter how many boundaries we set; we will always show up for the underdog and those we can help even when we are at our emotional capacity. What I realized on the other side of understanding more about the spiritual gift of empathy was that no amount of therapy would give me what a few sessions of guidance did. And that was the connection to the essential traits of empaths and how I specifically should walk down the path of empathy. I soon understood that it wasn't purely about boundary setting, but I needed to act in service in my respective profession. If I were helping people in my 9-5 or using my spiritual gifts to guide others, it would lessen my urge to save everyone around me. Then I could effectively create healthy boundaries, and more than that, I could connect with clear agreements for myself. 


Past lives 

I believe that it is more common to access our past lives than we think it is, especially when you have natural spiritual gifts. The problem is we (in the black community) do not speak of such things. Therefore, when we come through this life with our ancestors' spiritual gifts, we have no language for it, no real way to conceptualize the experience and make it applicable to our lives. So instead of leaning in more deeply to our paranormal experiences, we brush them off and seek others to tell us what our soul is forcing us to remember for ourselves. Our disconnection as black empaths to our ancestry hasn't helped us expand or bring forth what we already know at the cellular level, what we started out teaching other cultures. When we consider history, creation began on the continent of Africa. Though our native spirituality has been tossed aside for organized religion, we are told it is barbaric to worship idols. How many others stole this from us and are still using the power of our various forms of spirituality? But, the existence of native spirituality and specifically African spirituality is rarely recognized as valid. It's the entire premise of my book. When considering shamanism specifically, African forms seem irrelevant to others when we have a stake in this form of spirituality as native Indians, Eastern Europeans, and Alaskan natives. Everything black is considered taboo, but lest we not forget everything began on the continent—everything, including many forms of spirituality. 

I have discovered that this wisdom only remains lost on this spiritual journey due to our unwillingness to recover it. Our blind faith binds us in ways that prevent us from moving forward spiritually, keeps us stagnant in our soul growth, and leaves the future hanging in the balance for our descendants. 


There are many clues in the spiritual nature of black empathy. Still, we must create more courageous conversations about spirituality to forge a clear path ahead and root ourselves in spiritual inheritance. As long as we continue to deny our spiritual gifts, we miss out on the opportunity for actual ascension. Evolution is available to each soul inhabiting the Earth we call home. Accepting our raw psychic ability, mediumship, and empathy will require us to resign to the highest power so that we may exchange our ego and reconnect with our wisdom, experience, and carve out a meaningful journey for ourselves and our lineage to follow. In doing so, we detach ourselves from what is beneath our spirits and allow our evolution and our real awakening to begin.

If you are wondering if you have intuitive gifts or discovering more about your ancestry or creativity abilities, schedule some time with me here, I would love to connect!

And, check out these episodes from the Life of an Empath podcast:

What is an Empath?

Surrendering to the Intuitive Possibilities

What are the Akashic Records?